Diary of a Demon Steward
by Ruehl21J
Summary: Fenrich has always been... well... Fenrich - but when Valvatorez comes across Fenrich's journal, all sorts of things begin to make sense. Just what is Fenrich thinking? Is he really the cold guy we know, or has he hidden himself from us all this time? **Story written shortly after the first encounters with the Angel. I had not finished it yet, so I apologize if It's a bit weird.


Note: This story is written with Canadian formats and spelling. It also contains hints of homo (because Fenrich is in it), and possible OOC because, not being the creator of the characters myself, I can't say for sure. I put myself in Fenrich's shoes, wrote a journal, and then wrote a story with it. Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think.

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**Diary of a Demon Steward**

By Ruehl-Sky Ellinuscia Jezowski

Its cleaning day in Hades – the prinnies are running around scrubbing every inch of the place with toothbrushes and cleaning their master's items by hand. It's a rather normal event where the strangest thing that happens is the sight of a prinny running down the hall with some girl's panties on his head, so the misfit gang of Valvatorez's planned to feast outside, away from the noise. Originally Fenrich's idea, the plan was to have everyone under the night sky so that his eyes would be less sore and he would not have to deal with the prinnies – all while keeping Valvatorez near him.

Preparations were going smoothly for a change. The prinnies had already moved the large, rectangular mahogany table outside and placed gray sheets overtop that were laced with shining silver symbols and designs generally considered as gothic or demonic patters. The tables, the cutlery, even the napkins and the food had just arrived and were being set up. Fuka and Desco were already seated and drinking juice, while Emizel stood watching the prinnies a couple metres from "Vulcanus", who was also watching the prinnies work.

Fenrich stood at the table waiting and making sure the prinnies didn't mess anything up. Last he knew, Valvatorez had been reprimanding a prinny, so he was going to be a minute or so late. Inside, Valzatorez was ordering the prinny to fix the corners of some rooms that lava had leaked into a couple days ago. The rocks and ash were cooled by now, but Valvatorez did have ways of making anything difficult if he wanted it that way – so the prinny was ordered to remove it with his beak.

The prinny had been at it since morning, so he was almost done. When he finished, Valvatorez dismissed him, and they both left the room. The mansion-like building in Hades worked as an institute for training prinnies, but even so, the corridors were long, and anyone who hadn't been there long enough would get lost. One of the newer prinnies saw Valvatorez and squeaked, dropping a black sock and a leather-bound book with no title on it.

"What are you doing here, Prinny?" Valvatorez demanded with a light curiosity. "Are you lost?"

The prinny turned and started to run as he screamed "NO SIR, DOOD! I WAS JUST LEAVING, DOOD! I'M SORRY FOR DISTURBING YOU, DOOD!" Valvatorez blinked, shrugged, and bent over to pick up the open book and the sock the prinny had dropped. As he lifted the book, some of the words caught his attention – and all though he had heard the words so many times before, seeing "my Lord" written in a book brought forth the most powerful feeling in the worlds – curiosity.

"_My Lord… I am lost again! That prinny girl, the others… now you plan to hang around an ANGEL? The very angel that might be that stupid woman who ruined your life? Can you not see the danger in having her around?"_

Valvatorez frowned. She had done nothing to get in the way of their plans yet, but even so, Fenrich was so full of distrust. For a loyal servant, Fenrich sure didn't trust him very much. Even though Valvatorez suspected that the journal would simply be a ridiculous, ungrounded rant, he continued to read it. Now he was hoping to find something to reassure him that Fenrich wasn't going to play more of his little tricks that he did.

'_That ridiculous fatal flaw of yours… your stupid promises! I want to kill that woman, but I can't because of you! What if you ended up hating me? Every time I think about what to do, I get lost and you don't even notice! No matter how much I look after your well-being, you somehow find ways to throw it away – AND STILL ACT LIKE YOU'RE STRONG?!"_

Valvatorez walked into a wall. Somehow, Fenrich's feelings were so gripping; he was having difficulty taking his eyes off of the page now. _So that's how he thinks… _He disagreed with his promises being a weakness, and overall, he wasn't all that happy with what he was reading, but the honestly of it reminded him of a frustrated child – kind of like Emizel, with many major differences. He smirked as he thought of the possibility – Fenrich as Emizel's childish father. _Like it was meant to be_. Valvatorez sat down so that he wouldn't walk into things anymore, and continued to read.

"_I just don't get it! You're an enigma! I can't figure you out! I want to demand that you be more simple, but I'm not sure if that would have a negative effect! You might just be a different kind of simple!"_

Almost snickering, Valvatorez leaned on the thought. _All these years I've had a child follow me around. It's almost cute…_

"_Ugh… the way you keep your promises with such determination… Why can't that determination go to something else? If you broke your stupid promise to that girl and drank some blood, you could be so powerful again…If you broke your promise, it would all be better, right?_

_If you broke your promise… it wouldn't change you… right…?"_

Something just then seemed to seize Valvatorez's heart. Hesitation was something Valvatorez hadn't seen in Fenrich for many years. Up until now, he was sure that Fenrich was entirely against him keeping his promise to Artina. Would it change him? It was a good question. He curled up a bit, more engulfed by Fenrich's journal than he had ever planned to be from the start. What did Fenrich really want?

"_At least… that's how it is with us demons; we tend to live in that. Betrayal and no friends… but friends can't really be built on something as silly as a promise, I'm almost positive. Camaraderie…right? As long as you have that you'll be you, and you can throw away that useless promise you made and be strong again._

_I mean… I suppose it would suck that I would not be able to get you to promise me things, but I wouldn't have to."_

_Get you to promise me things? _Valvatorez blinked in disbelief. _Like what?_ Fenrich never really asked anything of Valvatorez except for him to break his promise to Artina. Relooking the paragraph, Valvatorez wallowed in the desperate reasoning Fenrich had scribbled into the journal. Fenrich was trying whatever he could to believe that Valvatorez didn't need promises to stay by Fenrich's side. It didn't say it outright, but the feel of the words was undeniable.

_Fenrich really is a little obsessive…_His heart sank a little. He had always known Fenrich's more expressed turmoil, and it turned up a lot of the same results as his inner turmoil, yet his inner turmoil was completely different. While desperately acting one way, Fenrich hid his true thoughts from everyone and possibly from himself, too.

"_You and your promises… if you could just break it, get it all over with, then all your troubles would be gone. You could be strong again. You would command the respect that you deserve just by walking a single step forward… _

…_but if you did break your promise…what would it do to you…? _

_Would I still feel the same way after? That senseless ability to hold onto promises so strongly… I both hate and cherish it. If I could get you to break that just once, would I regret it for the rest of my life? Is it possible, my lord… that I could change you, without truly changing you?"_

His heart continuing to sink, Valvatorez clutched the book even tighter. He could feel Fenrich's thoughts and feelings.

"_You were once the Tyrant… all powerful, and awe-inspiring… but now you train prinnies and have a delusional girl call you 'Valzy'… Oh, how I dream every night that I could go back, that I could stop you from making that promise… It would be just you and myself again. No one to interrupt, and me serving you, always by your side…"_

A realization finally hit Valvatorez. _He's confused. _A little earlier on the entry, Fenrich had written "but friends can't really be built on something as silly as a promise". If Fenrich said "friends", then where was his random "serving by your side" coming from? Which was it that Fenrich wanted? Or did he want both, but was just unable to say so? Was he confused about what a friend was as well?

"_You're subjects would never call you 'Valzy'…They would treat you with fear and awe instead of treating you as though you are no better than they are… like you were just 'one of the group' like a friend or something. Something I could never even dare to ask for… something a demon should never have._

_As your one and only Steward, you never have to look at anyone else with those corruptibly approving stares that you've become so accustomed to giving out lately."_

_Well…_Valvatorez thought. _That _is_ a little obsessive for 'friend'…_ Valvatorez turned the page, and his eyes widened. It was a moon, drawn with ashes and cooled volcanic rock with words overtop.

"_I will bring you back your strength. I will follow you till my life no longer reflects in your eyes as the moon does. I will always serve you, protect you, and whenever you need me, I'll be by your side to aid you. If you forget me, I will remind you, and if you are beaten, I will heal you as best I can._

_I will find a way to bring you happiness, for all is for my Lord…"_

Underneath the moon was a small, scribbled out paragraph that Valvatorez was barely able to read, even with his sensitive, powerful eyes. Written underneath the scribbles was "I scheme all for your benefit, please believe me… all had been for my Lord… all… _should be_… for my Lord…

Tempted, Valvatorez started to turn another page, but his heart seized him again, and his fingers stopped moving. He'd read Fenrich's journal, and though it proved to be quite enlightening, what he had just done was wrong. Being a demon, he knew it shouldn't have been a problem, but he felt uneasy. Fenrich trusted him more than he had ever known, even loved him, suffering all the way through the things that had happened. What strength. He called Fenrich a child earlier, but he was truly anything but a child – in his own way. He closed the journal, deciding that was enough for tonight, and continued down one of the corridors – and when he turned the corner he bumped into Fenrich.

"Fenrich!" Valvatorez yelped with a bit too much surprise.

"You are late, my Lord…" Fenrich started, but trailed off. There was something to his master's face that he hadn't seen for a while, and even for a vampire, he was more pale than usual... "…is everything alright, my Lord?"

Valvatorez shook his head a bit. "It's fine, Fenrich, but tell me something…" As he spoke, Valvatorez hid the book behind him. With almost everything in the mansion having some amount of his and Fenrich's scent on it, he hoped Fenrich wouldn't notice. "What is your definition of a friend?"

Fenrich blinked. What a strange question! "Well… friends are unnecessary alliances built by those who are weak in hopes that they might defend themselves with numbers."

_Figures he would say that._ "What about people who just aim to be by another person's side?"

"Most likely denial, my Lord…"

Fenrich was obviously confused about where the questions were coming from. Valvatorez sighed and muttered "nothing to do with love of course, right?"

"Wha…" Fenrich's face changed a light shade of red. "Of course not. Not here anyway, demons don't-"

Valvatorez gave Fenrich an irritated stare. Normally he would blow Fenrich's silly answers off, but now that he knew more about Fenrich, he could feel the lie thickening the air. _Denial, huh?_ There was definitely some sort of denial going on here. Feeling malicious intent from the cold stare Valvatorez was giving him; Fenrich took a step back in instinct.

After a few seconds of silence, Valvatorez made his move. "What about you, Fenrich? Did you always just want to be by my side? What _am_ I to you, exactly?"

"…you are my Lord, my master. I ju-"

"'Servants'_ leave_, Fenrich."

"I would never-!" Fenrich raised his voice helplessly.

"Then you are not my servant. Follow me if you still wish, but what you are now is something greater than just a servant. You are my _friend!_" Then, before Fenrich could react to Val's bold declarations, Valvatorez pulled Fenrich towards him and gave him a hug, awkwardly cradling Fenrich's head by his chest. Fenrich, who is taller than Valvatorez, struggled to keep his balance just as his mouth struggled to utter anything but the words "m-my Lord…?!"

Just as abruptly as the embrace began, it lasted a short instant before Valvatorez released his confused friend's head. "My Lord…" Fenrich whimpered. "What has gotten into you…?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Valvatorez stood tall and, with his new knowledge, more determined than ever. "It's the power of camaraderie and friendship, forged by the promises of our pasts and fueled by the emotions of the present! There are no mistakes," he declared as a refreshing feeling of family overwhelmed him. "Just too many unbeaten paths to choose from, and the best people to choose those paths with!"

Fenrich's jaw dropped. _What. The. Fuck._ The recent events must have damaged his master's mind more than he imagined, yet… as his 'master' spoke, Fenrich almost dared to wish that those words could be as true as his master's undying honesty. He would have to work much harder if he hoped to fix everything.

Fenrich sighed and stood up straight, placing one arm over his chest and the other behind him, and have a slight bow. "Whatever you say… all... is for my Lord."


End file.
